Our emotions (feelings) are not secondary to what has happened or what someone did or said, but rather what we tell ourselves about what has happened or what was said. We are not emotional victims of our environment.
If we don't like what we are feeling about something or someone, we can change those feelings by simply changing our thoughts, what we tell ourselves, what we believe--all or some of which may or may not be true.
Nothing and no one can make us feel angry, happy, sad, or any other emotion. Nor, can we make another person angry, happy, sad, etc.
The notion that we can make another person feel anything is omnipotent. And, the belief that others have the omnipotent power to make us feel is irrational thinking.
Just imagine what an insane world it would be if humans could control the emotional responses of others. We would all be mere puppets, waiting for someone to pull our strings to get a response. Our feelings and emotional responses would always be at the mercy of everyone and everything in our environment.
No one has power over another's emotions. We are all born with the wonderful ability to choose our feelings by choosing what we tell ourselves.
So it is with caregiving. You are free to choose to be angry and resentful that you have fallen lot to this role by telling yourself that it is not fair and you do not deserve to be burdened with such weighted responsibilities.
However, if you don't like being angry and feeling resentful you could tell yourself that the opportunity to care for other human beings and do for them that which they cannot do for themselves is an honor and a privilege offered to a select few.
Your emotional response would perhaps then change to feelings of compassion and empathy for the person you're caring for, and gratitude for the opportunity to learn and grow. Thank goodness no one can plant in our emotional garden but us. Scroll down for You Tube video
Sincerely,
Sandra - Caregiver Guru for the Caregiver Generation
http://www.babyboomerssandwich.com/ www.youtube.com/sandrawhaymon
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Our Emotions are the Children of Our Thoughts.
Men (and women) occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of them will pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing happened.
(Winston Churchill)
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